Death & Rebirth

I pray you guys have been doing so well, and that life has been good to you. Between these moon phases, and just all around changes The Divine has had me by the edges. I have realized that the only way through is surrender. Whatever that looks like. Whether it be giving up something/someone you wanted forever, purging because it just doesn't work anymore.

Life is such a journey, and the benefits of the journey are all results of things you asked for. I've been wanting to fully heal my heart for a while now because of my responses to things I thought I'd grown from. Healing is exactly what I've been getting, in the most beautiful and roughest ways. So many smiles and tears, guilt and comfort, and just a slew of emotional growth. It feels like a true evolution. It's scary and painful, but also so fulfilling. You really have to be ready and mindful of the things you pray for. You never know what it's going to take to get there or what it will actually look like.

For example, this past year I have been wanting to be a better mom, sometimes I shut down and I hate that my kids get caught in that. I had moments where I was so detached that there were days where they would see me once, and we lived in the same house. They are the best part of my day, and because of not healing my own traumas they were privy to a story they never even stared in. I prayed about just wanting to let the past go, and to be present here in this timeline because it was breaking me. You don't understand how heavy your heart is until you're triggered. My oldest would just put her head on me, and ask "mommy are you ok?". I felt like a piece of trash because, I never wanted them to see me like that. Especially being that it was not their battle to gear up for.

I assumed that my healing journey would just find me and wrap me in love and comfort, but it unraveled me down to the beginning. I was hurt all over again, but it's what I asked for. I asked to let that shit go, and I had to go down that rabbit hole. This process has been a pain in the ass for sure, but I'm grateful for it. It pays off tremendously because I'm getting the results I asked for. Building yourself up from nothing gives you a great advantage to do it the right way. Well not the right way, but the healthiest way that benefits your highest good. It's true when they say trust the process.

Empty your heart in whichever way benefits you, so you can fill it with love. Love is the strongest vibration we have. My love for my kids pushed the door open for me to experience a complete death and rebirth. You can't be afraid to let go of your old self to become who you've always been meant to be.

We have to stop thinking of ourselves so differently from children. We have big emotions, our feelings get hurt, and sometimes we fall down and scrape our knees. Nurture that little person inside of you before the world convinces you that your current situation is all you'll be. I envy a child's imagination. They don't need validation to dream or believe, they do it because it's their God given right. They are honest about their feelings, and outspoken when it comes to their thoughts. The conditioning of having to be a societal norm is what puts us inside of a box, and says this or that. That's not how The Divine meant for us to be.

Take life with all that it has to offer, and make it into what you want it to be. Just be open to the fact that it takes courage, sacrifice, and optimism. Fall apart 20 times if you have to, and still get up and try again. What you want absolutely wants you!

With this beautiful journey that I am currently on, facing my past and being 100% honest about my experiences.. I'd like to share that with all of you. Be on the lookout in the next 6 days for an Ebook dropping on my site called "Adams Drive". It's the address to where my healing started taking place, and molding me. I faced a lot of demons on adam's drive, broke and repaired a lot of relationships, and found my voice to stand up for myself.

Tell a friend to tell a friend, and have them subscribe so they won't miss this exclusive drop. It won't be available anywhere else except LucidDomain.

With all my love, I pray this helps.